How To Talk To Your Partner About Infertility
When a couple doesn't succeed in conceiving a child despite unprotected intercourse repeatedly, the partners naturally start worrying about fertility. And as the time rolls on without any success, the stress mounts on. Particularly in the Indian society the relatives, neighbours and friends start raising eyebrows and take pot shots at the couple directly or indirectly, which makes the situation even worse for them. ʺDo I have any deficiency? Am I responsible for not being able to conceive?ʺ Anxiety and depression start gnawing them and they keep burning from inside.
It is therefore, necessary for the partners to take each other in confidence. Instead of reeling under stress they should talk to each other openly with utter sincerity. Without blaming each they can calmly discuss about the fertility concerns. Fertility counsellors advise the couples to be very careful while discussing these issues. ʺThese are not the things to be talked in haste or casually. The partners should choose proper time when both of them are relaxed and there are no mental blockages,ʺ suggests Dr. Mamta Dighe, renowned infertility specialist in Pune. She adds, ʺEither of the partners should initiate the conversation with carefully chosen words so that the sentiments of the partner are not hurt. They should have proper plan about the discussion so that they remain focused and do not distract from their aim. ʺ
Dr. Mamta Dighe of Xenith Advanced Fertility Center, one of the IVF Center in Pune gives some valuable tips to the couple about how to talk about the infertility. Here are some important points :
- No Blame game
Both the partners should empathize with each other's concerns. They should have equal amount of intent and desire for having a child. Nobody should blame each other and continue their dialogue from a healthy and positive frame of mind. Be open and honest in your conversation.
- Acknowledge and accept the problem
Both of them should honestly acknowledge the problem and accept the reality. When they do so they can help each other’s grief, they can reach the logical conclusion and subsequently approach the infertility specialists for proper treatment.
- Avoid negative thoughts
It is most likely that both the partners or any one of them might go into depression which changes the entire mood in the family. Negative thoughts creep on, giving rise to more depression and stress. Women in particular, are more likely to become the victim of this negativity. In such eventuality the other partner should make sincere efforts to pull his/her partner out of the anxiety vortex. Breathing and mindfulness techniques can help you manage the negativity and stress.
- Face the challenge as a team
In such cases the first and foremost objective of the couple is to lead the life with sense of togetherness. If the problem is detected in the male partner, such as low sperm count, motility of sperm or whatsoever, his counterpart should show equal concern and empathy as a team member. Similarly if the deformity is noticed in the female partner, the male partner should carefully and sensitively handle her moods. They should work as a team and jointly face the challenge.
- Talk to the counsellor together
Approach your counsellor as a team and talk to him/her with due earnestness. This can help you to normalize the situation and the counsellor will be able to give proper medical option.
It must be kept in mind that this is a very sensitive topic and utterly critical phase in the life of any couple who is not able to conceive a child. Both the partners should be supportive to each other and should reinforce this support through their behaviour towards each other. Today the medical science has made astonishing progress and there are lot of options available. While is it important to talk to your partner at the same time it is important for the couple to talk to a fertility expert well in time before it is too late. At Xenith Clinic, IVF Center in Pimpri Chinchwad, we have an excellent team of professionals and fertility experts to help our customers. Contact us today if you feel the need to talk to an expert.